Match Point: Nick Gage vs. Joey Ryan (11/16/18)

0
Photo: GCW

Match Point is an on-going series at Last Word on Pro Wrestling, where we look at intriguing matchups in indie wrestling and beyond. They may be dream matches, first-time matchups, or hotly anticipated rematches. Today’s edition focuses on a match that almost any wrestling fan on the planet would never have predicted happening, but in November at Joey Janela’s LA Confidential will – when American hardcore icon Nick Gage goes one on one with “The Penis Guy” himself, Joey Ryan.

The one thing about the Joey Janela series of events thrown by Game Changer Wrestling (GCW) is they have unique match-ups – more fever dream than dream matches – that have become works of art. From PCO vs WALTER to Joey Janela vs Marty Jannetty, both Joey Janela’s Spring Breaks and Joey Janela’s Lost in New York events have been fun events that felt like if current you booked a card for 12-year old wrestling fan you and sent it back in time. It’s glorious. And while the first match announced for this event was already an amazing prospect of a match – WWE legend Hardcore Holly facing current indie beast Brody King – then this one will knock your socks off. It’s a match that no one saw coming – although with Joey Janela now on painkillers for his unfortunate injury, perhaps we should have (in all seriousness, very best wishes to one of the indies’ true leaders on a speedy return!). American hardcore pioneer and groundbreaker Nick Gage is going one on one with the greatest comedic wrestler of his generation and the most powerful prick in wrestling, Joey Ryan. It’s fair to say this is a match Jim Cornette will not enjoy in the slightest (but his fans will most likely Tweet him GIFs from).

NICK F’N GAGE

Nick Gage is one of the most frightening men on the planet. Not in wrestling, but the world. The man’s got a sadistic streak that dwarfs Sabu‘s, and a penchant for violence that even “The Innovator of Violence” Tommy Dreamer himself would deliver a slow clap for. A legendary performer with Combat Zone Wrestling (CZW) for over a decade – where he’s a former 4x CZW World Champion – Nick Gage took a five year hiatus from wrestling. But not for spiritual reasons, or retirement, or to rest up any injuries he’d incurred in over a decade of setting the bar for hardcore deathmatches. He was in prison. In 2010, he was charged with armed robbery and spent five years in jail. Following his release in 2015, he made a return to CZW, but soon left for GCW, who was themselves rising from the ashes of a former life (as Jersey Championship Wrestling) to create a new life for themselves. Gage became the face of GCW over the past few years, where he has developed into a more well rounded performer and wrestler, able to work as easily in deathmatches as wrestling in more traditional indie promotions like Beyond Wrestling. But don’t get the wrong idea – Nick Gage still has his mean streak. And he still leaves each match a blood bath in the ring. Which brings us to his opponent…

JOEY F’N RYAN

Every since a trip to Japan introduced indie wrestler Joey Ryan to the mystic power and strength that was locked within one’s loins by DDT Pro‘s Danshoku Dino in 2015, Joey Ryan has become a viral sensation with the superhuman way he’s been able to wrestle away victory time and time again relying amply on his own penile shaft. His Penis Flip has taken him around the world, as a singles wrestler and for years as the tag team partner of NXT’s Candice LeRae in The World’s Cutest Tag Team. Although he appears on Lucha Underground, he’s a true outlaw lounge lizard travelling from promotion to promotion as a hired love gun, facing all comers. But will even his ever present Blow Pop be able to get one of the most brutal combatants of the past two decades to put his scarred hand on Joey’s tadger? As Joey Janela so eloquently said in his announcement Tweet this evening: “Good luck getting an ex convict to flip for your dick.”

LEAVE A REPLY

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.