Are Uncle John’s Friends The New Flock? A Kayfable

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(Disclaimer: While Uncle John’s Friends is a very real new faction in Full Impact Pro, the assumptions and narrative of this article is intended for entertainment purposes and in no way reflects any rumours, reports or inside knowledge)

With the whole WWN roster of promotions moving over to FloSlam late in the year in 2016 for the new streaming service’s launch, many were surprised to see Full Impact Pro (FIP) on the roster. While it was still a functioning promotion under the WWN banner, it seemed to have fallen off the radar the past few years, without as much fanfare as other WWN promotions, like EVOLVE or Shine. But on January 8, 2017, FIP debuted on FloSlam with Everything Burns, and the world was introduced to a new faction of seemingly anarchistic miscreants who referenced themselves only as “Uncle John’s Friends”. Their slovenly appearance but lethal and methodical execution of their opponents bore a striking resemblance to a crew that lurked in the shadows for much of the 1990’s and early 2000’s: the band of misfit toys known as The Flock, lead by the doomsayer Raven. Could Uncle John’s Friends be the new Flock?

Sami Callihan is Raven

Photo: Sami Callihan (twitter.com/TheSamiCallihan); Raven (WWE.com)

Raven was a maniacal lunatic that used his intelligence to empower and his darkness to envelop, and did so with cult like results. Whether it was his Nest in ECW, his Flock in WCW or his Gathering in TNA, Raven has always managed to find the social outcasts who had a desire to shine from the shadows. Sami Callihan has been just such a harbinger of madness for years now, and while the group seems to be taking it’s cues from Uncle John, the veteran Callihan arguably has the loudest voice in Uncle’s John’s Friends. And like Raven, his penchant for chaos and the macabre is more likely pull everyone’s sanity down to his level.

Dave Crist is Stevie Richards

Photo: Dave Crist (twitter.com/TheDaveCrist); Stevie Richards (WWE.com)

Stevie Richards idolized Raven and though his wardrobe choices were questionable at best, he was one of Raven’s earliest allies, from the ECW Nest to the early months of the Flock in WCW. Dave Crist follows to the same drum as Sami Callihan, from their similar wardrobe to their fondness for bandanas, not to mention their reckless abandon with their own bodies if it means the destruction of their foes.

AR Fox is Perry Saturn

Photo: AR Fox (Wikipedia.com); Perry Saturn (WWE.com)

Saturn joined up with Raven in WCW, despite being in ECW together previously. A former Airborne Ranger, Saturn’s military discipline and lethal tactics made him Raven’s hitman and enforcer, all rolled into one. Similarly, AR Fox apparently also has a military background (as seen in Lucha Underground, where he confronted his former military friend Killshot) and, despite being in several promotions with Sami Callihan and the others, never associated properly until now. With his size, Fox is the enforcer of the group.

Darby Allin is Billy Kidman

Photo: Darby Allin (FloSlam); Billy Kidman (WWE.com)

Kidman was the dirty little gutter rat that everyone loathed, but once he got into the air, there was no denying the magic that he could induce or the aerial attacks he could unleash. Darby Allin is equally as loathsome, a skinny little street kid who gets under your skin. But as anyone who has seen this wet rat fight, he can bring it, especially from the air. His aerial work at the recent EVOLVE shows are evidence that Allin will do anything with his body in the air if it means certain doom for those below him.

Priscilla Kelly is Beulah McGillicutty

Photo: Priscilla Kelly (twitter.com/priscillakelly_); Beulah McGillicutty (ECW)

Beulah McGillicutty was brought into ECW by Stevie Richards to ignite Raven’s legendary feud with Tommy Dreamer. A former childhood love of Dreamer’s, she attached to Raven and became a pivotal force in Raven’s wars, with no fear of getting involved with the men. Priscilla Kelly has been struggling to find her place after tough starts in Shine and WSU, but in FIP, it looks like she’s found a group of degenerates willing to show her the ropes…and the darkness. And Kelly is tough. She was trained by former NWA Tag Team Champion Murder-1 and will have no problems standing up to any men who get in the faces of her and the boys.

But Who Is Uncle John?

Well that’s the million dollar question isn’t it. Who is this mysterious Uncle John that, if you don’t share his friendship, you face certain doom? Who is this mad man who seemingly only associates with social misfits and cruel street dogs, unleashing them on the roster of Full Impact Pro without method nor reason?

The answer has been in front of us all along. A man who has just recently made his presence known back on Twitter, a man who has a long history of guiding such wayward youth and Lost Boys.

None other than the man himself.

Why it’s got to be Johnny Polo, right?

Photo: WWE.com

Main Photo: twitter.com/TheSamiCallihan (River Horse Photography)

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